Here's an ode inspired by Jeff's plaque on the Walk of Stars in Broad Street, Birmingham.
More than one forumhead has tried to visit Jeff's star, but that part of the pavement always seems to be surrounded by scaffolding and construction work.
Jeff could well be feeling disgruntled about this, plus annoyed by pedestrians leaving muddy footprints over his name.
He might even think of encouraging his loyal fans to mess up someone else's star for a change...
To be sung to the tune of "Starlight".
Star SiteStar site warning!
Star site warning!
Star site, I hear you've fallen down at heel
Street mud, trawling across me tile again
I want you to look new,
I feel you should look new,
So then in Brum -
They better stop strollin' around
Keep their feet off me ground, little tile -
Me star's light should shine all around, Brummie-style!
Star site, those names are standing out down Broad Street way
Installation of the tiles
Scaffolding round on me, I wonder, wonder why (I wonder, wonder why?)
I appeal! A raw deal!
Woody's here, his is clear -
Mine's caked with gum -
They better stop strollin' around,
Muddy feet on me fouled little tile,
Me star's nice, so Don't Bring Me Down, Brummiephiles!
Who cracked the stone on me own little tile?
(That's no good at all!)
Main road, runs all the way up past your windows
As you stroll across Bev's site
Let's everybody leave some mould from soles, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
(Don't tell nobody!)
I need you, gum to chew,
Then to strew, with your shoes,
And then to run!
Brum elders, stop fooling around,
Pave the streets of this town, Brummie-style,
And tar right across Bevan's proud little tile!
You'll bring me old drummer down for a while!
Star site, me tile is rockin' Down Home Town, so far away....