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Post by BSJ on Aug 15, 2014 1:00:39 GMT
Curses! I thought I'd gotten away with it! ,came back from Bloodstock and has immediately high tailed it to the Gwar-be-cue in Richmond, Virginia. Natch I am trying hard to do this and can quite easily get such a glow on I forget he ever lived here at all. First off - explain those first two sentences.
And tell "love of your wretched life" that you can pack up his s**t real quick.
I am sending you a few cases of cheap California wine. (Postage paid upon receipt) And don't try to pawn it off on Mr Lynne, the ding-dong sent the eyeliner back to me, and what did I have to do?? Pay the flipping postage man! By the time someone takes responsibly it will be dried out! I've been giving it to high school gals. Free condoms with every pack! It's a mad house! What goes on in America??!!
Truth be told France's cheap wine can taste like California's top of the line. Just saying!
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Post by unomusette on Aug 15, 2014 20:53:34 GMT
Excuse me, still trying to stop myself sniggering. Sniggering is a thing I do really well, especially with a load of European Union Wine Lake red on board *clinks glasses*
Besides sniggering I am eternally lazy. Hence me thinking I could rest on my laurels with the revelation of the 7 inchers and avoid tackling Mr Musette's detritus in front of Vinyl Corner. Yes, I DO have a wretched life being married to a GWAR freak, however he also has to suffer driving me to all manner of Muse gigs all over Europe so at the moment he is being tolerated. On the other hand he might love Richmond so much he might not come back :/
In the interests of market research I shall accept the Californian wine, especially as it promises to match up to my usual tipple. I simply can't believe Mr Lynne sent the eyeliner back, perhaps we should pay him a visit and "educate him"?
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Post by BSJ on Aug 16, 2014 13:44:12 GMT
Just in case, if needed, I found a few manuals about the application of eyeliner - they are dogged eared but you can still make out the pic's with instructions. Be warned! there are hardly any straight arrows! The majority of them are twisting and bending, some right into knots! And for some silly reason there are no instructions for the eyes!
Give me a call when you hit our soil! And DO NOT start without me!
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Post by unomusette on Aug 16, 2014 18:56:53 GMT
Nice work. I'm sure we'll find a way to persuade him to keep still whilst we consult the manuals. They sound most instructive, allowing us to express our creativity by not actually telling us how to do eyes. As soon as I find a big enough box I shall post myself to Jeff's house and phone you from the shrubbery in his garden. Sneaky way to avoid air fare and immigration
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Post by BSJ on Aug 17, 2014 20:04:25 GMT
Nice work. I'm sure we'll find a way to persuade him to keep still whilst we consult the manuals. They sound most instructive, allowing us to express our creativity by not actually telling us how to do eyes. As soon as I find a big enough box I shall post myself to Jeff's house and phone you from the shrubbery in his garden. Sneaky way to avoid air fare and immigration Bungee cords will be just the ticket if Mr Lynne gets out of hand. That’s a great idea hiding in his shrubbery; you’ll get to check out his Secret English County Garden! Be careful with the return address you use. If he suspects anything the jig is up! And really, if he sends you on and you appear on my doorstep what can I do with you? You will not be as easy to get rid of as the Eyeliner. You better hope he’s not agitated enough to use PPOD or you’re screwed.
I hate to write that we will need mascara. I double checked one of the manuals and it's title is: One Hundred Three and a Half Techniques for Eyeliner and Her Sister Mascara.
Check out Jeff Lynne Song Database site. Robert Porter has posted an in-depth song analysis of Telephone Line. www.jefflynnesongs.com/telephoneline/
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Post by unomusette on Aug 18, 2014 20:56:07 GMT
I think we'll need a lot more than bungee cords if we have to mascara him as well. Perhaps some form of hypnotism?
I'll use Buckingham Palace as the return address, he won't suspect a thing and will probably get all excited thinking he's going to be made a Lord (well, it's about blimmin' time) or even a Dame
The song database is fab, I spent ages last night reading all the analysis's. That Porter guy is scarily well informed. As for Steve Riks, he is a genius. Have you seen him doing "stars have wild sex"? I was hooting with laughter at that and all of his Bee Gees and Freddy Mercury are spot on.
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Post by BSJ on Aug 19, 2014 17:16:40 GMT
For the sake of sanity do not out of the shrubs outfitted as Fergie!
…… a Dame??? Oh honey, a terrifying Dame Edna!
I think all this enthusiasm should be toned down for the old man. So hypnotism just might be the thing. And our Jeff will be more amenable to suggestions.
Oh! and when you arrive at Bungalow Palace call me at 8675-309. (I wrote it on that wall. I did so!)
I just noticed and I do not wish to rub this in, but, I have FOUR stars! I am SENIOR member! I have no idea how this happen, but I am not complaining! The last 5 days have been real crappy and this makes happy!
Rik’s Beatles are beyond words. Have not seen the sex one yet. Will do!
From an interview Steve says that Jeff contacted him, and Ringo has a few times.
Another favorite with your own Brian Blessed! Henry 8.0
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Post by Horacewimp on Aug 19, 2014 19:03:27 GMT
just noticed and I do not wish to rub this in, but, I have FOUR stars! I am SENIOR member! I have no idea how this happen, but I am not complaining! The last 5 days have been real crappy and this makes happy!
You become a Senior Member after 100 posts You will gain your next star once you reach 500.
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Post by unomusette on Aug 19, 2014 19:47:35 GMT
Bah! I want to be a senior member too! *kicks things* I'll have to restrain myself from making 47 pointless posts. Oi! The other 63 haven't been pointless, they've been deeply interesting. Yes. Now then, BSJ. I really ought to smite you for becoming a senior member before me, but I can't bring myself to do that in the face of your awesome youtube treasury. Brian Blessed is fabulous in every way and this is a perfect specimen of his work. And once again there's more to follow up and keep me busy whilst I'm waiting to find that big box to post myself to Jeff's in, I am so not worthy. I wonder if Jeff was complimentary when he got in touch with Steve, knowing him he threatened him with legal action Bungalow Palace! His Highness Lord Dame Jeffery could only live in a house called that. Genius. I am ever so slightly worried about what you might be hoping to make him amenable to with our hypnosis thing, but I'm sure we'll all be very pleased about it. We could even sell the photos.
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Post by BSJ on Aug 19, 2014 23:28:20 GMT
You wrote about one of LDJ’s obsessions and then suggest the selling of photos of him in a trance, a few bungee cords attached to an arm and leg, or two, and decked out in eyeliner and mascara that are applied not even close to the vicinity of his eyes!!?? (Cue Brian B) ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND WOMAN!!!
Xanadu Aug 35, 501---- To His Highness Lord Dame Jeffery,
It was unomusette! Not me! Pinky swear!
I have the honor to be, ‘His Highness Lord Dame, your most submissive slave, (I‘m holding on to my dream!)
‘BSJ
‘To Horace Wimpey,’ &c. &c.
Word on the street – H W went through hades and back searching for his ELO albums. This is a person to be admired. I am sure he will not rest on his laurels! Cough, cough...
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Post by BSJ on Aug 19, 2014 23:50:44 GMT
just noticed and I do not wish to rub this in, but, I have FOUR stars! I am SENIOR member! I have no idea how this happen, but I am not complaining! The last 5 days have been real crappy and this makes happy!
You become a Senior Member after 100 posts You will gain your next star once you reach 500. Very cool - had no idea! Explain all.
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Post by Horacewimp on Aug 20, 2014 7:37:21 GMT
You become a Senior Member after 100 posts You will gain your next star once you reach 500. Very cool - had no idea! Explain all. There are different levels of member ranks according to the number of posts. 1-10 New Member 1 star 10-50 Junior Member 2 stars 50-100 Full Member 3 stars 100-500 Senior Member 4 stars 500+ Superstar 5 stars
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Post by unomusette on Aug 20, 2014 20:23:23 GMT
You wrote about one of LDJ’s obsessions and then suggest the selling of photos of him in a trance, a few bungee cords attached to an arm and leg, or two, and decked out in eyeliner and mascara that are applied not even close to the vicinity of his eyes!!?? (Cue Brian B) ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND WOMAN!!!
Xanadu Aug 35, 501---- To His Highness Lord Dame Jeffery,
It was unomusette! Not me! Pinky swear!
I have the honor to be, ‘His Highness Lord Dame, your most submissive slave, (I‘m holding on to my dream!)
‘BSJ
‘To Horace Wimpey,’ &c. &c.
Word on the street – H W went through hades and back searching for his ELO albums. This is a person to be admired. I am sure he will not rest on his laurels! Cough, cough...
Excuse me, but my ears are still ringing from that enormous BB bellow, it's like a swarm of bees. I'll just have a medicinal swig of cheap french red *guzzles, feels lots better* What's all this?! Attempting to distance yourself from our fabulous master plan? I see it all now, blame me so he thinks you're his friend then you can worm your way into his....or even his....well just thinking about that is making me feel quite ill. Poor LDJ. It would jolly well serve you right if he DID let you be his submissive slave and tied you up with the bungee cords before posting you to Roy Wood as a joke. After all, my empty box would still be in his shrubbery just asking to be re-used. There might even be some mouldy sandwiches left in there if you're lucky. On the other hand, depending on exactly where the eyeliner and mascara ended up, he might be too busy soaking it off in the jacuzzi. It's a hard life being a Lord Dame, especially when the jacuzzi steam fogs up your shades Now I must away to have a squint at HW's hoard, I'm glad he's posted it because I still haven't gotten anywhere near Vinyl Corner so the heat is off. Mwaahahahaaaa!
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Post by BSJ on Aug 21, 2014 1:32:27 GMT
Oooo, ouch! Tighter! Thank-you.
Oh, you read the letter have you? That was just rough draft. Keep it together now. I should have made it clear that this was rough draft and for you to check for spelling errors. I would never, ever, throw you under the bus for a LDJ! (So I lie. I was taught this by my first boss. He had a way of shrugging his shoulders when he lied. This is why I’m unemployed. They always pick this up. My ears are too low.) I’m a little bit disappointed in you. I really am. I thought we were a team. You know that thick through skinny thing?
Just in case – are those samwiches BBJ? Because if they are, I’m out.
I would be proud to be posted to Woody! LDJ and Woody will be making art together again! History in the making, babe. No worries here.
The heat is not off… the heat is not off! H W is just buying you time missy.
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Post by unomusette on Aug 21, 2014 22:12:16 GMT
Hmm, well for a start don't be expecting me to rub soothing ointment into your bungee sores later on. If you encourage that sort of kinky bondage you deserve all you get, and he won't respect you one little bit. Or maybe one little bit but I don't want to dwell upon that. As for this "rough draft" it's not so much the spelling as the whole thing that was an error. I might look a bit sheepish but you can't pull the wool over my eyes, bah! *nibbles grass stalk thoughtfully* However after all my self medication using wine I'm probably too fat to throw under a bus, a bit like His Highness in The Skeleton and the Roundabout Your theory on lying intrigues me, our new boss is the very pits and lies to us all the time, the slimeball. I'm usually so busy staring at his ridiculous ginger wig I never notice his shoulders or his ears. But now, aha! I shall have proof! Don't knock being unemployed, it leaves you free to plot ingenious scenarios, mwahahahaa! And you know I won't be able to resist joining in. Oh, and I give up on what BBJ stands for, best I can come up with is Blackberry Jam, am I right? Do I win a prize? Anyway the sarnies will not be made of any sort of jam, more likely to be egg mayonnaise(yummy but with an unfortunate aroma that keeps mosquitos away, very handy when lurking in shrubbery) You're assuming Woody will accept you should you arrive all bundled up on his doorstep. Not being an aristocrat like LDJ he is probably quite poor and won't be able to afford the excess postage, not to mention the HUGE customs fee. Or he might just not be too keen on the eggy pong. Whaddeyer mean, the heat is not off? Have you not seen H W's fantastic autograph and promise of an interesting tale? The heat is most definitely off, tra la la! *skips away, giggling*
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