The graphic humour thread

[Helmut83]

Hahaha... worst thing is that it happens in reality very often.

[unomusette]

Oi, me Snooks! I don't get your last one, it's too enigmatic

[BSJ]

unomusette,
The people are using blind canes in order to use their phones

[Horacewimp]

[Helmut83]

Feb 11, 2016 22:04:25 GMT unomusette said:

Oi, me Snooks! I don't get your last one, it's too enigmatic

More than enigmatic, it's blurry. Now that I know they have cell phones it's a good one.

[unomusette]

Yep, I'm with you on that

As a cat lover I shouldn't post this, but it did make me giggle:

[BSJ]

unomusette, love the misspelling

[unomusette]

Hehe, yes well you are the queen of such things so I'd expect nothing less

[Helmut83]

Feb 11, 2016 23:27:41 GMT unomusette said:

Hehe, yes well you are the queen of such things so I'd expect nothing less

Haha, clever Uno, good answer!

[Helmut83]

[BSJ]

Golden

[Horacewimp]

This isn't graphic but I found it funny (Chelmsley Wood is a rough area of Birmingham not far from Shard End)



EARTHQUAKE IN CHELMSLEY WOOD

An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit Chelmsley Wood in the early hours, its epicentre was on Bosworth Drive. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Fuuuckinell".

The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.

Local news reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Chelmsley Wood. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Netto's own version of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:

Nike or Burberry baseball caps

Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)

Shell suits (female)

White sport socks

Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:

Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.

£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.

£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

***Breaking news***

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.

'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, "Winchester Drive" said the girl, "wossit gotta do wiv you?"

[vlogdance]

Oh, dear, Horace...

There was an earthquake in Rhyl, North Wales, once. It caused £30,000 worth of improvements. 

[BSJ]

Horacewimp, not too far off from an "interesting" section in Toledo. Same all over the world.

Chardonnay-Mercedes! How about La'trinea.

[Chippa]

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