It doesn't fit the rhythm or structure of the song exactly, but it is based off The Diary of Horace Wimp. Had a scary moment with a wasp (I am very severely EXTREMELY terrified of them) a couple months ago & recounted it to my sister...it went a little bit like so:
Here's a lyric rewrite about an internal problem that plagued our favourite band.
As we all know (well, we do now), Bev is so irresistibly attractive to the ladies that the other band members must have been very much in his shadow, and deeply resented seeing him getting all the fangirl attention. But wise Bev will have come up with a solution "so fine", it had to be immortalised in a lyric. Here is The Diary Of Bev Bevan.
To be sung to the tune of The Diary Of Horace Wimp.
Monday: Hot again, today - He'd be in trouble when they saw he was sexy. They'd want to throw him out of the bus.
Tuesday: "Bev, this is so sad, We never get the girls - it's you they care for. And now we can't take much more! Help us out?"
Chorus (Bev said:) "Don't be afraid, Just log on the forum. And see, amidst their grumbling and shovelling, They give voice to their love - It's Horace Wimp's, the drooling's rife, Log on and find some friends for life, Me, I'm banned (from sheer demand!) But you could make some date night plans.
You can do it! Come on, bandmates!"
Wednesday: Bandmates read the posts, "These are gold, and these are very witty. They've poured out all their love! They've got their faves, oh-oh..." "Ask for forum dates!" (said Bev,) "A carafe full of cheap, tomorrow evening." The band were reeling: "They won't say yes! No way..."
Chorus (Bev said:) "Don't be afraid, Just log on the forum. And see, amidst the muddling and Jungle-ing, There's the ELO love. It's Horace Wimp's - there's sometimes strife - But soon you'll find that's forum life. Lurking's banned! Join their gang And you will meet your lifelong fans."
("You can do it! And you, Richard!")
Friday "Bandmates, this is it," (said Bev) "Just ask the girls on a Summer Night Safari. When they say "Tag me!", do it, guys, woo-hoo!"
Sunday Everybody starts to search: "Where is that special one who says she'll become my wife, For the rest of my life? Here she is!"
Chorus (Bev said:) "Don't be afraid, Just log on the forum. You'll see, amid their travelling and trousering, They need ELO love, It's Horace Wimp's, a way of life - Log on and find a future wife. Be a man, lean and tanned (like me!) And you will have your date nights planned...
... on MON-day, TUES-day, WEDNES-day, THURS-day.. FRI-day, SUN-day..."
elophile: OH, Yes! Will you take a little sip when no one is looking?
Jun 23, 2020 20:10:41 GMT
Horacewimp: I’ll check and see if he takes sugar ::smileys-thumbs-951446::
Jun 23, 2020 20:47:50 GMT
elophile: I bet he takes honey... good for the vocal chords!
Jun 26, 2020 0:41:49 GMT
elophile: And no milk. You don't want to get all phlegmy...
Jun 26, 2020 0:42:37 GMT
Grroosss: Well. I discovered r/ELOcirclejerk and the ELO Discord yesterday. Lots to offer (and fans my age!) but too much chaos to take in all at once... Feels good to be back home ::animated-smileys-hug-008::
Jun 30, 2020 22:06:28 GMT
BSJ: Circlejerk is waaaaaay out there!
Jun 30, 2020 22:53:00 GMT
Helmut83: Is there an ELO Discord? Good data, Grroosss! Gotta check it out, I've been a regular at discord since about two months ago when quarentine boredom drove me there.
Jul 5, 2020 3:12:01 GMT
Helmut83: I couldn't find it though. Maybe you got mixed up with Reddit?
Jul 5, 2020 3:18:29 GMT
orioles70: hope all good forum members saved some fireworks to set off tonight for 50th anniversary festivities, I personally arranged for a comet to arrive right on schedule, try to Zoom in with your telescope and see the bright orange and blue streamers
Jul 14, 2020 1:58:56 GMT
BIuebird: Hello forum friends! I apologize for my long absence, we've had quite a bit of stressful stuff going on.
Jul 14, 2020 13:49:08 GMT
Horacewimp: Hey BIuebird great to see you back hope you are keeping well ::c0112::
Jul 14, 2020 14:16:05 GMT
BSJ: Hi BIuebird! Happy to see you! ::t31232::
Jul 14, 2020 18:05:14 GMT