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Post by Helmut83 on Sept 9, 2014 23:26:38 GMT
OK, people, this strange question assaulted me while I was listening to Journey's song "Don't stop believing" and I didn't want to just let it go:
How would your hell be?
I mean, just suppose someone from the great beyond decides you were a naughty boy/girl in this life and you will get what you deserve: being sent to hell. You go walking down a dark ladder and as you arrive you go seeing (and why not, hearing, smelling, touching or even tasting) certain things. What would these things be? Of what is hell made in your imagination? Which components you suspect have to be there and you would surely see or have contact with in your way to meet that red horned guy with the fork or whoever is in charge down there?
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Post by BSJ on Sept 9, 2014 23:37:30 GMT
My Hell is having to put up with unomusette!
I will think on this and get back with ya! Very cool!
I am sure everyone will agree a part of hell would be no ELO!
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Post by Rob 2095 on Sept 10, 2014 0:08:12 GMT
Geez... how does one reply to this question? I guess a person's own worst vision of hell would depend on their current mood, where they are in their life and what sort of images come streaking through their own imagination at any given time.
My own vision of hell at the moment would be one in which (ironically) no attractive ladies could be found and one where it's prisoners would be forced to eat dry dog food covered in ketchup for all eternity.
As for what it would smell like: maybe sulphur, vomit and rotting tampons thrown in for good, wholesome measure.
... would "Don't Stop Believing" be playing on some sort of constant loop in your hell, Herr Helmut?
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Post by Helmut83 on Sept 10, 2014 0:46:15 GMT
... would "Don't Stop Believing" be playing on some sort of constant loop in your hell, Herr Helmut? Yeah, you totally got it. Although, to tell the truth, I was not even thinking of a constant loop but of the band performing it (once) live at the entrance of hell while thousands of alienated fans scream at the top of their lungs when the singer says that the boy was "born and raised in [complete with the name of the city where the public is from]". But yes, a loop would definitely make hell a much worse place. Other features of my hell would include: - spiders, spiders everywhere... large, small, bald, hairy, of all species - all audio devices available are made by Apple - every morning an American chef serves you American breakfast with fried eggs, bacon and peanut butter, all of it swimming in mayonnaise - furniture magically appears out of nowhere right infront of your little finger when you are walking barefoot - no one knows how to read or write in any language other than Russian - you have to take a shaky plane driven by an octogenarian everywhere you want to go, even if it's just 'round the corner for some booze - and like BSJ said, no good music (which of course means no ELO) As for your hell, Rob, I must admit it sounds like a terrifying place, but at a first glance I had read " it's prisoners would be forced to eat dry dog covered in ketchup for all eternity" (skipping the word "food"), which would have made it even more terrible. Oh, and about the ladies... I'm sure that hunk with the arrow-shaped tail and the piercings has some pretty ones hidden somewhere.
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Post by 88keys on Sept 10, 2014 6:59:10 GMT
Nickelback on an endless loop.
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Post by Horacewimp on Sept 10, 2014 8:00:17 GMT
I guess Jeff's is Latitude 88 North
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Post by Helmut83 on Sept 10, 2014 8:59:03 GMT
Nickelback on an endless loop. I second that, but does your hell only feature Nickelback playing on an endless loop as an unsufferable characteristic? Come on, guys, ellaborate a bit more! Look at how many lines I had to write for the thread's subject, don't be lazy and describe your hell with some further details!
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Post by BSJ on Sept 10, 2014 14:45:45 GMT
- every morning an American chef serves you American breakfast with fried eggs, bacon and peanut butter, all of it swimming in mayonnaise Have you ever had a peanut butter and mayo samwich's? Mom made these for us when kids with lots of lettuce. UGH!!!! How about just lettuce with mayo for a salad? And, ketchup samwich's - just ketchup on white spongy bread. How about one can of tomatoe soup watered down to feed 4 kids? Would you like me to carry on? And people wonder why I am indifferent to food. Gee... a mini hell.
Now, fried peanut butter samwich's - these are good! As you, and loads and loads of other members, we are sure, have read in His Highness Lord Dame Jeff Genius Chronicles, he's become very attached to them at tea time! Might these be a backstage request of Jeff's this Sunday?
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Post by unomusette on Sept 10, 2014 21:42:50 GMT
^ Oi, you minx! I read that bit about putting up with me. And you know how much I love you. Sniff. Anyway, my hell would also include spiders, ack, horrible scampery ones that appear from under your armchair or fall out of bundles of stuff you might pick up. Food wise, my ex's mum used to serve a pudding which was cold sponge cake with cold jam slathered over it and hot custard, grooo! That would definitely be on Satan's menu, along with liver and a horrible french sausage called andouillette which is mostly tubes. Don't ever try it. Instead of good music there would be the endless sound of people eating noisily, that can make me murderous within seconds. I sit next to a girl at work who is a sweet thing but she's constantly eating, which is bad enough, but as she chews her teeth clack together which drives me INSANE!! And when she eats crisps she does it deliberately with her mouth open for maximum crunch. Ugh. In hell there would be no filing room to escape to. For variety there would also be the sound of yelpy barking dogs. Like the one near me who barks and yelps at the same time like he's being disembowelled. One day he will be. Oh and hell would smell of dogs too, dogs that have never bathed. Plus endless cigarette smoke. Bet I can think of loads more, I'm a very intolerent person
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Post by Rob 2095 on Sept 11, 2014 0:29:37 GMT
... Instead of good music there would be the endless sound of people eating noisily, that can make me murderous within seconds. I sit next to a girl at work who is a sweet thing but she's constantly eating, which is bad enough, but as she chews her teeth clack together which drives me INSANE!! And when she eats crisps she does it deliberately with her mouth open for maximum crunch. Ugh. In hell there would be no filing room to escape to. For variety there would also be the sound of yelpy barking dogs. Like the one near me who barks and yelps at the same time like he's being disembowelled. One day he will be. Oh and hell would smell of dogs too, dogs that have never bathed. Plus endless cigarette smoke. Bet I can think of loads more, I'm a very intolerent person Your views on people chewing noisily and small dogs yelping (as if in horrible pain) fairly accurately reflect my own, but then again, my hell wouldn't include endless cigarette smoke... it would include people who endlessly complain about it.
I'd also have to add: dogs licking themselves relentlessly when it's quiet, and obnoxious people who want the whole neighborhood to know what Rap or Hip-hop tune they're listening to in their throbbing ride.
As for aforementioned, dreaded spiders: unless you guys are speaking of Brown recluses or Brazilian wanderings spiders, would you really rather deal with snakes?
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Post by Rob 2095 on Sept 11, 2014 0:34:15 GMT
I guess Jeff's is Latitude 88 North Which begs the question: would one rather freeze for eternity or burn for eternity?
Sign me up for the icy option any day of the week... are there days or weeks in hell?
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Post by Helmut83 on Sept 11, 2014 1:13:57 GMT
For variety there would also be the sound of yelpy barking dogs. Like the one near me who barks and yelps at the same time like he's being disembowelled. One day he will be. Hahaha... don't tell me, my neighbour has three dogs and sometimes, at random hours and for no apparent reasons, they start 3-hour barking sessions all together, which can drive you out of your mind if you are trying to sleep or concentrate on something. I am sure dogs from hell are looking upwards and trying to learn from these little bundles. Bet I can think of loads more, I'm a very intolerent person I loved your description of hell, and while reading it I got the notion that describing it was a bit liberator for you. Wasn't it? Come on, if you feel there's more to it, you can go on. As for aforementioned, dreaded spiders: unless you guys are speaking of Brown recluses or Brazilian wanderings spiders, would you really rather deal with snakes? Yes, no doubt about it (unless you are talking about anacondas, pythons or boas). Snakes aren't that disgusting. In fact, most of them are quite beautiful. I have caught snakes with my own hands on several occasions and, as long as they don't bite you, they are quite lovely creatures; but spiders... I can't even see one of those moving at several metres from me without feeling a cold wave go down my spine and my hair stand up on ends. Those creatures have to have been designed by some evil entity. Sign me up for the icy option any day of the week... Isn't that what Walt Disney said?
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Post by BSJ on Sept 11, 2014 19:11:54 GMT
Being surrounded by fallen buttons needing to be sewn back on. Or the endless search of shoes that last longer than the walk to the parking lot and not outrageously expensive. Surrounded by bookcases full of paperback books where the spines are cracked. I never read any books that have been read, even mine. This, my hell on earth. The continuous sound of people snorting, instead of using a Kleenex and, why not make this an all in one special, the sound and sight of someone spitting in public. A replay of being behind a driver who sloooowly turns a corner. Come on, you can do it, that’s right – Nooooo! Don’t put the brake on again! Ok, almost there! See! You conquered that tricky corner. Being held in a room with countless loud and loathsome ring tones. Rattle of Bartenders “shaking their shakers” filled with weak drinks. Not having Unomusette as my friend. Bawling... snort.
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Post by unomusette on Sept 12, 2014 23:16:37 GMT
Snakes would be a cinch compared to spiders, Helmut has it right. I once patted a very nice enormous python in a Florida theme park, it was warm and dry and the keeper guy said all the smoothing had sent the snake into a trance, how lovely. Try doing that to a spider. I don't think so. When I did biology in school I'm sure I was taught that because of the way they breathe they couldn't get very big, but I've seen some right monsters here in Wales, leave alone what lurks in Australia. In fact my hell would be in Australia, it's stuffed with poisonous, horrible crawly things. And insects.
*hands BSJ a large handkerchief,pats reassuringly* Lordy, I'd forgotten about the turny-corner people, perfectly expressed and perfectly enraging. Don't ever go to China, I've never been either but apparently spitting is practically mandatory everywhere, even on trains. In the UK highly paid footballers delight in pressing in one side of their noses and snorting out streams of goo from the other side onto the pitch, apparently they have to, otherwise they'd not be able to play properly. What?
In my hell, I've just remembered there will be lots of spotty boys wearing their jeans halfway down their legs so they can show off their disgusting knickers, whoever started that fashion? I must admit it's given me a lot of laugh out loud moments but it's still awful. I once spotted in an upmarket store in Cardiff a pair of jeans made deliberately short so you could wear them that way. I give up.
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Post by queenofthehours on Sept 15, 2014 16:15:48 GMT
Hell? Hell would be no ELO (or no ELO forum ). Hell would also be having to listen to bad, annoying, pointless, soulless Simon Cowell-style music all day long – but that’s not far off how Earth is at the moment. If it wasn’t for my ever-growing music collection, ballooning with ELO, Hell would be Earth as it is now! My Hell would also involve smoke, I can’t stand the smell of cigarettes – it makes me really ill. Heat, being too hot is more uncomfortable than being too cold – you can always put on another jumper if it’s too cold. Busy roads, one of my biggest hates is having to wait for the longest time just to cross the road. Uncomfortable beds – life’s too short for bad sleep. No books or books only being available on "devices" (hate that word) - the very thought makes me uncomfortable. Most of my ideas of Hell are already happening to me on Earth - Hell can only be more pleasant.
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