Weekly Magazine February 26, 2017 (the 5 "A"s)
Feb 26, 2017 3:00:34 GMT
Horacewimp and queenofthehours like this
Post by jrmugz on Feb 26, 2017 3:00:34 GMT
For this week, here is a topic for which a lot of us can probably all help each other out.
Read a book a long time ago called How to Be a Hero to Your Kids.
It listed 5 key things that start with A, that I thought were really profound, and so I remembered them. I really need to visit that book again.
Guess it can start a discussion for any advice anyone has on raising kids; and nobody needs to be a parent to be have any insights into that, since we all have
experiences of being raised by parent figures, and what worked and what didn't work.
In no order of how I remember them:
1) Acceptance- The idea being, if we disapprove of their tattoos, earrings, or relationships, we still need to let them know they are accepted for who they are.
Likewise if they are a perfect all A student, etc., we let them know that we would still love them even if they got all Fs. Just so they never have to feel like our
love for them will be based on them being perfect.
2) Affection - The point I remember from the book is when they are teenagers, be sure to give them hugs, etc. or rub their back. Because they don't get the hugs,
etc. they had when they were kids, but truth is, they could probably use them more than ever, so make sure they get affection, it can mean a lot. Probably can mean how
we treat them too.
3) Appreciation - The idea being to always be praising them. And for any criticism/correction we have of them, there should be 10 praises to go with it.
4) Accountability - The great point I remember being made was that the way that we teach our kids accountability, is to be accountable to them. Let them always feel
free to let us know if they have an honest beef/concern about our behavior, etc. That way, when they know that we are working to improve ourselves and open to be
corrected, it frees us to not feel like a hypocrite, or cause resentment in them, when we need to encourage them to correct their behaviors, etc.
5) Availability - The idea that kids spell the word love "T-I-M-E". And that not too fall too much for the tap of quality time vs. quantity time. The key is to have
lots of quantity time with them, and a lot of quality time in it. But don't use the quality time provided as an excuse for no quantity time. They just need to know
that we're there and available.
For me, I feel like I can work mainly on "availability" a little better. I feel like I'm home a lot, but too much on the computer while they are watching TV and doing their own things. I know that's all natural and good, but sometimes feel like I need to push for a little more one on one time with some of the kids. I mean, I do, but feel like I can do it more, and need to do that more with some of them.
Well, would be interesting to hear anyone else's thoughts or advice on this topic. I know for my part, I can use all the advice I can get.
Jim
Read a book a long time ago called How to Be a Hero to Your Kids.
It listed 5 key things that start with A, that I thought were really profound, and so I remembered them. I really need to visit that book again.
Guess it can start a discussion for any advice anyone has on raising kids; and nobody needs to be a parent to be have any insights into that, since we all have
experiences of being raised by parent figures, and what worked and what didn't work.
In no order of how I remember them:
1) Acceptance- The idea being, if we disapprove of their tattoos, earrings, or relationships, we still need to let them know they are accepted for who they are.
Likewise if they are a perfect all A student, etc., we let them know that we would still love them even if they got all Fs. Just so they never have to feel like our
love for them will be based on them being perfect.
2) Affection - The point I remember from the book is when they are teenagers, be sure to give them hugs, etc. or rub their back. Because they don't get the hugs,
etc. they had when they were kids, but truth is, they could probably use them more than ever, so make sure they get affection, it can mean a lot. Probably can mean how
we treat them too.
3) Appreciation - The idea being to always be praising them. And for any criticism/correction we have of them, there should be 10 praises to go with it.
4) Accountability - The great point I remember being made was that the way that we teach our kids accountability, is to be accountable to them. Let them always feel
free to let us know if they have an honest beef/concern about our behavior, etc. That way, when they know that we are working to improve ourselves and open to be
corrected, it frees us to not feel like a hypocrite, or cause resentment in them, when we need to encourage them to correct their behaviors, etc.
5) Availability - The idea that kids spell the word love "T-I-M-E". And that not too fall too much for the tap of quality time vs. quantity time. The key is to have
lots of quantity time with them, and a lot of quality time in it. But don't use the quality time provided as an excuse for no quantity time. They just need to know
that we're there and available.
For me, I feel like I can work mainly on "availability" a little better. I feel like I'm home a lot, but too much on the computer while they are watching TV and doing their own things. I know that's all natural and good, but sometimes feel like I need to push for a little more one on one time with some of the kids. I mean, I do, but feel like I can do it more, and need to do that more with some of them.
Well, would be interesting to hear anyone else's thoughts or advice on this topic. I know for my part, I can use all the advice I can get.
Jim